Well let us talk about counterfeiting today. Counterfeiting in the U.S. is a big deal. People or organizations who counterfeit not only pass all this garbage into circulation they also undermine the economy by weakening confidence in the Fed. With the economy as far into the crapper as it already is any more weakening is no bueno. The United States Secret Service (USSS), part of the Dept. of Homeland Security, estimates roughly one half to one percent of all currency in circulation is counterfeit. Yes, the USSS is not only tasked with the protection of the President of the United States. The USSS tracks funny money because before their switch to Homeland Security they were part of the Dept. of the Treasury. This counterfeiting seems like no big deal, yeah its annoying but it is not the end of the world, a couple of people will end up with some fakes, meh. Well just know that the Federal Government produced and released $453 Billion in notes into circulation last year. That means that roughly $4.5 Billion in counterfeit bills were created and thrust into circulation last year. Someone eventually has to eat that loss. Sometimes its a bank, a store, a person, the government. So yeah, we’re interested in counterfeiting especially if we get stuck with the greasy hundred.
Keep in mind this estimate is for domestic counterfeiting only and does not include the state sponsored counterfeiting North Korea engages in with their Intaglio Press and somehow acquired printing plates. They are actually producing $100 and $50 bills that only the most sophisticated machinery can tell from the real stuff. TIME has an article on it, here, worth reading if that kind of stuff interests you. Super Evil regimes aside, we’ll get back to this domestic counterfeiting thing.
So yeah, the USSS takes this very seriously. Now imagine their surprise when they find themselves searching for Kenny “Boom” Smith who has already been convicted of counterfeiting once. The end up at American Pawn and Loan, which is also the sight of the reality show Hardcore Pawn, asking around about good ‘ol Kenny. Well it turns out Kenny was there and he was actually filmed trying to pawn his stacks ‘o fake bills and his printing press for some cash. I don’t know what is dumber here, thinking you can get away with making and passing counterfeits in this day and age or trying to sell said counterfeits at a pawn shop. Uh, why didn’t you just spend it and keep making more? Idiot. Either way, the Secret Service now has Kenny and his voluntary confession to the camera at the pawn store, won’t that make a great exhibit B in court. Plus, all that funny money will never enter into circulation.