Okay there, I have received some constructive criticism regarding the blog. I can handle criticism, it only helps us grow and become better at the things we do. So, from now on, Fridays and/or weekend days will be days that I do something a bit less serious for my readers. Thanks for the suggestion to Mary. I’d make one of those emoticon smiley faces, but really, Meh. All that aside and off to the fun things. This week I will review a book or two for you. You will then read this book and love it, not because I said so, but because I won’t post trash on here and tell you how wonderful it is and get a maniacal little chuckle when you tell me how much it sucked. All righty then.
Okay, today you will go and purchase a book by the very talented A. Lee Martinez. The name of that book is Gil’s All Fright Diner. The book is a unique combination of quasi-horror, comedy, and fantasy. The premise of the novel is thus: Duke and Earl, a werewolf and a vampire respectively, are wandering through the American southwest in a ramshackle pickup truck attempting to get drunk. Low on gas and spending money they stop at Gil’s all night diner. Well, the proprietor of the place, a waitress by the name of Loretta, offers them cash to deal with the pesky zombies that keep assaulting her customers, they figure why not? But a teenage temptress, her possessed magic 8 ball, and a smattering of pig latin are attempting to end the world and bring the old gods through a portal to the other side, our side. The novel goes from there to grave robbing, zombie cows, a lonely ghost, and no end to the trouble that Duke and Earl have stirred up. I was reading it quietly and laughed so hard I teared up and my wife looked at me in that way that could only be, “Has he finally gone off the deep end, for real?” But I kid you not, this book was a laugh riot. I will now excerpt it for you. But not too much, don’t want to spoil you.
The metal stool bent under his full lycanthrope weight.
“Now how about some of that pie?”
Loretta eased back the shotgun’s hammers. “You boys ain’t planning on any funny business?”
“That depends on the pie.”
“Actually ma’am, we ain’t killed nobody in ages,” Earl reassured her.
“What about that trucker last Tuesday?” Duke asked.
“Oh hell, he don’t count. He was asking for it. Look, miss, under all that hair, Duke is just a big ol’ puppy dog, and I already ate. What say you lower that. We won’t hurt you, and unless you got silver buckshot in there, it won’t really do much to either of us.”
Loretta, seeing the wisdom of his words, laid her shotgun on the counter. “Well, you fellas seem nice enough and you did save me some ammunition. Guess a free slice of pie ain’t too much to ask in return.”
It only gets funnier from there. Good reading to you.