Ding, Dong, Ditch and The Flaming Bag of Dog Poo

Just Doo it. Muhahahahaha.

Yeah it is time for more Friday Fun, but instead of doing the normal thing I would like to reminisce about the good old days when you could commit a practical joke without being charged for assault or be arrested for terroristic threats.  I honestly think that is part of what is wrong with society, they no longer allow their youth a healthy outlet for some of their frustrations.  Now I know you are saying, flaming dog poo isn’t healthy, but you would be wrong in this case.  Flaming dog poo is the epitome of what I would call a borderline prank.  I call it this because it sits on the border between being funny and harmless and being slightly harmful.

Yeah you go to the house, you knock or ring the bell, the bag of doogie dootie merrily flaming away, flames laughing at what is to come, and you run like hell.  But you run to a beautiful vantage point.  When the old man answers the door he sees nothing but a fire on his door step.  He moves to extinguish the problem.  Yes and now his Mr. Rogers loafer has just gone for a walk in the yard without looking where it was going.  Classic.  Did anyone get hurt? Nope, and no one usually does.  Did someone get angry? Well, Yes, but again there was no property damage, there was no lasting effect other than having to remove and scrape off a show then throw away the remains of the bag.  But all of it was in good fun.  But flaming dog poo isn’t the only thing we’ve lost.

The art of the prank call is nearly dead, the phone companies with their caller ID and their *69 have seen to the end of that.  Shaving cream balloons.  Try dropping one of those, I bet you find yourself charged with domestic terrorism with the intent to cause fear along with the perceived threat of a nuclear, biological, or chemical attack on U.S. soil.  Whoppee cushion, you best be ready to be expelled for obscenity when you do it.  Paper airplanes, those could put out an eye, you little monster.

It seems that any childish outlet for the frustrations of youth have been drained away by a society who no longer appreciates that the youth are bound to act in a childish way from time to time.  No, instead what they desire is fully grown adults in the bodies of children doing their best to conform to what society wants them to be, green conscious, accepting of all things regardless of personal beliefs, willing to engage in the most socialist actions without a second thought.

It makes me sad that the flaming bag of dog poo has been replaced by sorting items into recycling bins.  I don’t see any relief from the frustrations of being old enough to know what you want to do but being too young to make your own decisions, and rightly so at the tender age of anywhere between 13-18.  I mean, can’t we just let our children be children while they still can.  Who wants to steal their youth and replace it with a time of responsibility.  I tell you now there is plenty of time to be responsible when there are bills to pay.  So grab a balloon fill it with water, give it to a child and instruct them to throw it at a stranger dressed in a suit.  I dare you to engage in the follies of youth.

Happy Friday.